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Manchester United in talks with Erik ten Hag
EU threatens to tut and shake their heads disapprovingly if Gaza bombardment continues
Met Éireann – weekend weather to be mixed but mostly shite
Singer Sam Smith says he now identifies as a Sausage Roll
Arab consortium plans to merge Liverpool and Manchester United into FC Liverchester
Trump adds Putin to US Government WhatsApp group
Kneecap to play at Pope’s funeral
McGregor says he’s seriously considering running for Pope
Easter Rising criticised for lack of diversity and “all white” leadership
UK Supreme Court rules that people born with willies aren’t women
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