Next Bond To Be Transgender Asian Bisexual Vegan Muslim Woman

It is one of the most prestigious roles in cinema and the battle to replace Daniel Craig as the next James Bond is well and truly on following Craig’s confirmation that he will be playing the role just one more time. Full Story

Kim Kardashian’s New Arse Implants Ready To Ship

Construction of Kim Kardashian’s brand new arse implants has been completed and they are now ready to begin their journey by sea to the reality star’s Hollywood mansion. Full Story

Jedward Asked To Prove They’ve Been Actively Seeking Work

Former X Factor stars Jedward have been told by the department of social welfare that they risk having their dole stopped unless they can prove they’ve been actively seeking gainful employment. Full Story

Watching Eastenders Number One Cause Of Depression In UK

A study into the effects of watching BBC soap opera Eastenders has revealed that it is the number one cause of clinical depression in Britain. Full Story

Susan Boyle Completely Unrecognisable After Million Dollar Makeover

Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle stunned the entertainment world yesterday when she revealed her incredible new look in an exclusive photo shoot and interview with style magazine Fashion Weekly. Full Story

Liam Neeson To Play Ibrahim Halawa In Upcoming Movie

Irish actor Liam Neeson is poised to play Ibrahim Halawa in an upcoming biopic which is due to start filming early next year. Full Story

Shock As RTE Discover Kim Yong-Un Is A Big Fan Of Mrs. Brown’s Boys

The world of light entertainment is in shock today after it emerged that North Korean dictator Kim Yong-un is a fan of TV comedy Mrs. Brown’s Boys. Full Story

RTE Staff Fed Up With Sharon’s Fart Pranks

RTE staff who work on flagship news programme Six One News are apparently so fed up with the antics of Sharon Ní Bhheoláin that they have lodged a complaint with station bosses. Full Story

Shane MacGowan’s Liver Wins Lifetime Achievement Award

The liver of Pogues front man Shane MacGowan has been honoured at the annual People Awards ceremony which took place last night in the lavish surroundings of the Royal National Theatre in London. Full Story

Channel 4 To Make Gogglebox of Gogglebox

Channel 4 Television has confirmed that they are to make a Gogglebox of Gogglebox, a TV show which will feature people watching Gogglebox and their reactions to it. Full Story