NPHET Calls For Beer Gardens To Be Shut Down Again

NPHET have said the government should close beer gardens down again just hours after they re-opened and believe easing restrictions was a huge mistake. Dr Ronan Glynn told a press conference that he personally witnessed several incidents of people enjoying themselves today and said the people of Ireland can’t be trusted. The doctor was asked what breeches of the current guidelines he witnessed.

“All of them. I saw people drinking and talking to each other. They were laughing and not wearing masks and they didn’t look at all worried. People need to worry more. I worry all the time. In fact I’ve never laughed or smiled once in my entire life and it hasn’t done me any harm.”

Dr. Glynn also said that as far as he’s concerned the lockdown restrictions never went far enough.

“Why are the supermarkets left open? There’s no need for it. People have had plenty of time to grow their own carrotts and potatoes. We need to lock everything down and lock everyone up until I say it’s safe to come out.”

We tried to contact the Taoiseach and several government Ministers for their thoughts on Dr Glynn’s comments but they’ve all turned their phones off and gone on the piss in their local beer garden.