Wolfe Tones set to play at re-opening of Stormont

The North’s devolved government is set to be restored today and Sinn Féin have a little treat waiting for returning MLA’s.

Business will begin with a wine and cheese reception inside the Great Hall at Stormont as the Wolfe Tones play a selection of classic rebel songs for local political leaders and their party members.

Two years to the day since it collapsed, Sinn Féin’s Michelle O’Neill is set to become not only the power sharing executive’s first ever nationalist first minister, but also quite shockingly the first ever Catholic first minister.

Michelle told reporters this morning she was beginning to worry the Wolfe Tones gig would never happen.

“We had booked the lads to play two years ago and I was starting to worry they might be dead by the time the DUP had stopped sulking but luckily all three of them are in good health and raring to go for this afternoon’s concert.”

The DUP agreed to return to government after British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak promised to have the Irish sea border removed and they believed him. Lol.