Unelected inbred becomes head of state

LONDON – An unelected inbred has become the head of state of Britain, or possibly Great Britain or maybe the United Kingdom. We’re really not sure. Or is he called the King of England? Surely the King of the United Kingdom sounds ridiculous. We’ll have somebody look into that.

Anyway, King Charles also becomes the head of state of the Commonwealth, a load of countries that the British once invaded, conquered and pillaged.

Of course any country with an ounce of dignity that used to be a British Empire colony left the Commonwealth as soon as it regained its independence but hilariously, some still haven’t.

It’s a widely known fact, although rarely ever mentioned because of the lengths the British establishment go to in the hope of keeping it quiet, but the late Queen Elizabeth and her husband Prince Philip were cousins, making Charles an unfortunate product of inbreeding.

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar is of course attending today’s coronation but let’s be honest, if he wasn’t going to it he’d be having a coronation party in his Dublin 6 mansion complete with wall to wall union jack bunting. The horrible west-brit prick.