‘We’ll dump these men wherever we want!’ snaps angry Taoiseach

The Taoiseach has said the government will dump thousands of men wherever they want, adding that protesters may as well just give up now and get used to it.

Leo Varadkar was referring to the increasing protests around the country by local people against the government’s policy of never telling anyone when a nearby hotel is about to be turned into a direct provision centre and they’re about to get hundreds of new neighbours, none of whom ever seem to be women or children.

“These men have fled places like France and England to come here.” said Leo. “Don’t be fooled by those little old ladies you see on the news protesting outside buildings. They’re obviously all violent far-right thugs wearing little old lady disguises.”

One reporter asked the Taoiseach why it’s always just men and if he could tell us where they’re from.

“That’s an outrageous question!” he replied angrily. “How dare you! I’m sure these men have perfectly good reasons for abandoning their families and not bringing any women or children with them.

“And if we tell you where they’re from, people will start pointing out that there are no wars happening in those countries and that’s the sort of behaviour we need to stamp out. Our new hate speech bill will make it an offence to point out stuff so the sooner that becomes law the better.”