‘Let’s Just Become Fianna Gael And Be Done With It!’ Leaders Consider Merging Parties

Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil leaders Leo Varadkar and Micheál Martin are said to be on the verge of merging the two parties into one giant super party.

Leo Varadkar returns to the role of Taoiseach today as part of the agreement made by the two parties when they formed the current coalition.

The move to merge Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael will come as no surprise to a huge percentage of Irish voters who regularly accuse the two parties of being the same.

Varadkar told reporters at a government press conference this morning “We used to pretend to disagree with each other on everything but that’s just politics. In reality there’s virtually no difference between myself and Micheál. We’re two peas in a pod. In fact if it wasn’t for his bogger accent you’d think we were brothers.”

Micheál Martin agreed. “It’s true.” he laughed. “It’s really all for show. If he didn’t talk like a lad who grew up with a silver spoon jammed up his hole we’d basically be the same person.”

The lad Leo Varadkar was filmed snogging in a Dublin bar last week is set to become the new Minister for Foreign Affairs.