Local Man To Start His Christmas Shopping Any Minute Now

A 36 year-old local man has said he intends to start his Christmas shopping any minute now. Brian Kelly from Tullamore told us there’s still plenty of time to buy presents for his family and friends and he doesn’t see any reason to get off the couch just yet.

“There’s hours left ’til the shops close. I haven’t seen Back to the Future in ages and it’s just getting to the good bit. I’m not going to leave in the middle of it am I? I’ll head out after this. All the gobshites panic buying should be gone home by then anyway so I’ll have the shops to myself.”

Brian told us Christmas for him is all about sitting on his arse watching telly and drinking beer for two weeks. In fact he just realised there’s another classic coming on shortly.

“Ah shite. Willy Wonka’s on after this. You can’t not watch Willy Wonka when it comes on at Christmas. You know what? I was given loads of shite last year that I never used so I’ll just re-wrap it all and give that out as presents. No need to leave the house. I’m sure granny could use a nice bottle of aftershave. It’s the thought that counts. Merry Christmas everyone.”