Liverpool Propose Making All Their Opponents Play With Just 10 Men For Rest Of Season

Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp told reporters today that Anfield bosses have sent a letter to the English FA asking them to consider making all of their opponents for the rest of the season play with only 10 players. The Anfield club’s shitshow of a season got a whole lot worse last night when Chelsea handed them their fifth home defeat in a row, a new club record. Klopp said it’s not fair what other teams are doing to them and something needs to change.

“By coming to Anfield and beating us, the other teams are showing a lack of respect and that’s not right. Have they forgotten about last season? As Freddie Mercury used to sing before he got Aids and died, we are the champions. My friend. Show some respect. He didn’t sing that last bit obviously. I just added that.”

Klopp said that making all of their opponents play with just ten men would even things out because he has players unavailable through injury, something no other club has ever had to deal with.

“It’s only fair. Van Dyke is still injured. I’m not saying that we’re a one-man team. Certainly not. It’s just that without him we’re complete shit.”