Prince Andrew Denies Ever Meeting The Queen

In an exclusive interview with Ireland on Craic today, Prince Andrew has denied ever meeting the Queen of England and claimed that he’s actually a bricklayer from Luton. The claim comes as Andrew faces US civil action over sexual assault allegations against Virginia Giuffre who he also claims to have never met.

We put it to Andrew that the Queen is his Mother and that he spent most of his life living with her. We also showed him a photo of the two of them together on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

“That photo is doctored.” he told us. “I was in Supermacs in Tullamore that day. I have cousins over there. I remember I had a snack box. Ask anyone. Well, not anyone. Just my lawyers. Certainly not the people who work in Supermacs. Or any of the customers who were there that day. And please don’t check the CCTV footage either. But apart from that, ask anyone.”

Andrew’s lawyers have tried many different defence strategies to get the Virginia Giuffre case dismissed including the fact that she now lives in Australia and that too much time has passed since the alleged assault. This is the first time however that he’s claimed he’s not actually Prince Andrew.

“I’m Andy from Luton. The chap in those photos is clearly a lot younger than me. We look nothing alike. God I was handsome back then.”

We asked Andy if he’s not Prince Andrew why was our interview taking place in his private quarters in Buckingham Palace.

“Shut up!” he replied. “This interview is over. You do realise I could have you shot. By the way is it me or is it getting really warm in here. I’m absolutely pissing sweat.”