Jobless Jedward – “We’d go busking but music isn’t really our thing”

Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes – better known as Jedward – have admitted that they haven’t worked for over five years and said they have no idea what they’re supposed to be doing anymore.

The brothers shot to fame on UK TV show The X Factor back in 2009 but they’ve slipped out of the limelight in recent years and say work has now completely dried up.

“Our phone doesn’t ring anymore.” said John. Or possibly Edward. “Nobody ever calls us. We ring Louis every day but there seems to be something wrong with his phone because it just keeps ringing out.”

“Yeah.” said the other one. “Imagine how silly and embarrassed he’s going to feel when he realises he’s been missing our calls for the last five years.”

The boys said they’ve been trying to come up with ways of keeping themselves busy but so far without success.

“We’d go busking on Grafton Street but music isn’t really our thing. We asked RTE if we could represent Ireland in the Eurovision Song Contest every year until one of us dies but they just keep hanging up without saying anything. There must be something wrong with their phones too.”

We called Louis Walsh (who answered his phone immediately) and asked him if he has any plans to work with Jedward in the near future. He told us he’d rather drink a pint of his own piss.