Unnamed Irish crime figure opens bar in Lanzarote

An unnamed high profile Irish crime figure has opened a bar in Lanzarote.

The Dublin man, who shall remain anonymous, has spent most of his time on the island since being acquitted of murder last year and is living in a secret location within driving distance of the tourist resort of Puerto Del Carmen.

He has been keeping a low profile, probably because if his exact location ever became public knowledge it could alert his enemies who would almost certainly come looking for him.

We managed to speak to the man briefly, promising not to name him, and asked about his new business venture.

He told us “It’s gonna be great. I can’t wait to open my very own place and welcome all my new customers. It’s in a great location on Avenue de las Playas right across the road from Fariones Hotel. Mark my words, this place is going to be a huge success or my name’s not Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch.”