Dublin’s footballing superiority is in doubt today after GAA officials confirmed they are looking into credible evidence the current All- Ireland champions have actually been playing with 20 players for the past 10 years, including three centre forwards and two goalkeepers. The Dubs have dominated football in recent years with many questioning where their seemingly unchallenged success has come from.
Referee Seamus McGee told us that the allegations could possibly be true, as counting players on the pitch at any given time is just not feasible.
“I’ve enough to be dealing with during a football match without having to run around counting how many lads are on the pitch, so who’s to say they’re not sending on a few extra bodies here and there. Referees today need eyes in the back of their heads. Players are pulling on each other as soon our backs are turned and as everyone knows, umpires are the most useless gobshites ever put on this earth, standing there with their big stupid white coats pointing up at the sky, so you can’t rely on them. I’d say most of them probably can’t count up to 15 anyway.”
Dublin GAA spokesman Anto McInerney denied the allegations and said they’re completely unfounded and based on simple begrudgery.
“Jealous bleedin’ culchies, that’s all it is. As if we need extra players to beat those muck savages. No doubt the whole country will be shouting for Mayo in the final and that’s exactly how we like it. We’re thinking of letting the Dublin women’s team beat them this year for the laugh.”
Mayo selector Padraig Lynch responded, saying “There’s no need for the insults. Lets keep it civilised. Our lads will be ready for the final and may the best team win. By the way, is he serious about playing the women?”