New law means women shopping in pyjamas can be shot on sight

A new law passed today means armed Gardaí have been given special powers to shoot on sight any women spotted shopping in their pyjamas. The move comes after an alarming rise in the number of women walking around supermarkets dressed in their pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers.

Government spokesman Jamie Colgan told journalists this morning “People have been calling for action to be taken for many years and our patience has finally run out with these shameless tramps.”

Mr. Colgan said members of the Garda Armed Response Unit have already been stationed in various supermarkets around the country from early this morning and urged shoppers to avoid women in pyjamas in case they get hit by a stray bullet.

“Not bothering to have a wash and get dressed before going out is unacceptable behaviour in any civilised society and I think we can all agree that a reasonable and measured response to such behaviour is a bullet in the back of the head.”