Boris Announces Free Head Of Cabbage For Every Family In Britain
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has promised every family in Britain a free head of cabbage. The country has been hit with food shortages and empty supermarket shelves in recent weeks but Mr Johnson said his government will not stand idly by and do nothing.
“Fear not, good people of Britain. As I speak, a complimentary head of cabbage is being sent to all of your homes. By the way, while I have your attention I’d like to take this opportunity to ask everybody to consider limiting their food intake to one meal per day. Preferably something cabbage based.”
People have been queueing for food in various parts in Britain in scenes reminiscent of 1970s Soviet Union but the Prime Minister said there’s no need as long as everyone sticks to the basics.
“Please stop looking for exotic foreign foods like bananas and melons. This isn’t Jamaica, this is Britain and we eat proper British food. Like cabbage for example. But none of that foreign cabbage. I’m talking about good British cabbage. In fact I had a leaf for breakfast this morning and it was yummy.”
Mr Johnson promised that Britain will soon start seeing the benefits of Brexit, adding that next month every household will receive a complimentary cup of milk.