Ryanair To Start Charging Passengers By Weight

Senior management at Ryanair have confirmed that the price of a seat on one of their flights will soon be directly linked to the weight of the passenger buying it. The new pricing policy will be introduced early next year and will apply to all Ryanair flights throughout Europe.

The airline had considered introducing the ‘fat tax’ several years ago but the idea was scrapped, so why have they decided to bring it in now? We asked Public Relations Manager James O’Connor.

“People are getting fatter, that’s why.” he told us. “Have you seen some of the specimens boarding flights lately? You’d wonder how the planes manage to get off the ground.”

According to the World Health Organisation obesity is spreading across the globe and is spiralling out of control. It’s clearly a worldwide problem but how does this affect the airline industry?

“The heavier the load, the more fuel a plane burns. It’s that simple.” Mr. O’Connor continued. “Fuel costs money. As well as that, the matter of weight distribution on an aircraft has also become a serious issue lately. Incidents of planes leaning to one side are far more frequent these days as people continue to balloon in size so when allocating seats it’s vitally important to spread chubsters evenly around the aircraft.”

So how will Ryanair implement the new fat tax and how will they determine how much each passenger should pay for their seat?

“People checking in online will soon be asked for their weight when filling in their personal details.” he explained. “The heavier the passenger, the more expensive the ticket. We call it pay-as-you-weigh. All of our boarding gates will soon have weighing scales installed and passengers will have to step up onto the scales while showing their boarding pass. Anyone found to have lied while booking their ticket will not be allowed onto the plane and will have to waddle off home and book another flight.”

As expected the controversial new pricing policy has outraged many people including some civil rights groups. Militant overweight support group The Fat Panthers held a protest march down O’Connell Street in Dublin on Saturday. They had intended to march to Trinity College and hold a rally there but none of the marchers managed to make it that far.