Transgender anger after Pennsylvania bans man from competing in women’s swimming events

Paul McRingo | Sports Correspondent

The University of Pennsylvania has agreed to block men from competing in women’s sports after a federal civil rights investigation stemming from swimmer Lia Thomas.

Transgender swimmer Thomas, who isn’t really transgender, will be stripped of his University of Pennsylvania women’s swimming titles after the Ivy League school finally gave in to sanity.

The university will also issue formal apologies to every female competitor who lost out to the controversial swimmer following an investigation by the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR).

Thomas, a 6 foot 4 inch fully intact biological male complete with penis and a pair of hairy boys, had been dominating women’s college swimming in the United States having spent the previous 3 years winning nothing in men’s swimming.

He won the women’s 500 yard freestyle event at the American National Championships, finishing a full 7 seconds ahead of Catherine Buroker in second place.

Many people believe Thomas has every right to compete in women’s events but that’s because those people are mental.

Lia Thomas himself stays away from the media and has only given one interview since switching to women’s sports.

“I compete in women’s swimming races because I am a woman.” he told ESPN. “Just because I have a penis doesn’t mean I can’t be a woman. Get with the times people. You can claim to be anything you want these days.”

As things stand, Thomas has no chance of ever representing the United States in the Olympic Games as the International Olympic Committee recently decided that no man who has ‘transitioned’ after the age of 12 can compete in women’s events. Thomas has never transitioned so he’s fucked. Unsurprisingly he’s not happy.

“If they don’t change their ridiculous rules I may be forced to identify as disabled and compete in the Paralympics. Apparently if I get my dick chopped off I’ll qualify as an amputee.”