Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch to lower his standards and principles and become a politician
Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch has said he is seriously considering running in the upcoming general election.
The veteran criminal has already put together a campaign team and told reporters he would be vying for a position in the 4-seat constituency of Dublin Central.
“As they say, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it. Obviously I’ve mixed with some proper lowlifes in my time but nothing as bad as the people in Dáil Eireann. They’d be a whole new level of scumbag for me.”
Hutch said he’d like to run on a mission to improve Dublin’s north inner city and is a hugely popular figure in his old neighbourhood.
“I want to give back to the place where I grew up. To the people I grew up with. Plus there’s way more money to be made in politics than bank robberies.
“TD’s are fleecing the living Jaysus out of the Irish taxpayers and are basically all millionaires. Astronomical salaries, claim expenses for everything and pay for nothing. I want a piece of that action.
“I’ve lived a tough life and now it’s time for me to live on easy street like all the other legal gangsters. Vote Gerry Hutch, Number One. Thank you.”