All Northern Ireland School Children To Start Learning Amhrán na bhFiann From Next Year

All school children in Northern Ireland will start learning the national anthem from next year onwards. The move follows the news that Catholics finally outnumber Protestants in the six counties.

Authorities in Stormont have decided it’s time to start preparing for life in a rapidly approaching United Ireland and learning the Irish language will also soon become compulsory in schools.

The census results that have brought about such significant changes in the north show that the older, Protestant population is in decline and has a higher mortality rate, while the much younger Catholic population is expanding and multiplying at an unstoppable rate because they’ve been riding like rabbits for decades.

Other changes soon to be brought in include the union jack being permanently removed from Belfast city hall and replaced with a tricolour. The Stormont government buildings will be turned into a museum.

Meanwhile several people who live beside the cemetery in Co. Down where Ian Paisley is buried claim to have heard the former DUP leader turning in his grave last night. The local Garda Síochána are investigating.