County Longford to be demolished and rebuilt

It has been confirmed today that the entire county of Longford will remain closed to the public from next week while it is demolished and rebuilt.

All roads in and out of Longford will be closed at midnight next Sunday night and a demolition crew will move in first thing Monday morning. Longford County Councillor Barney Fitzmaurice explained the reasons behind the reconstruction.

“Well to be perfectly honest it’s a kip so we’ve decided to bulldoze everything and start again. This has been coming for years. There’s nothing here for anyone. We can’t hold onto our young people.

“Over half of our school leavers every year emigrate to faraway places like Westmeath and Roscommon and those who stay are taking a huge risk. Last year over 500 people living in Longford died of boredom.”

The N4 cuts through the county and was built with huge fir trees lining both sides of the road so people could travel between Dublin and Sligo without having to look at Longford. Councillor Fitzmaurice said the busy road will remain open during the rebuilding of the county.

“People will still be able to drive through Longford at high speed like they’ve always done while we get busy knocking the place down. This time next week please God Longford Town will be gone and then we get to work on Granard.”