Kim Kardashian’s New Implant Leaves Factory

Construction of Kim Kardashian’s new arse implant has been completed and it is now ready to begin its journey by sea to the reality star’s Hollywood mansion. The enormous fake arse cheeks will be transported on the navy vessel the U.S.S. Intrepid which is normally used as an aircraft carrier. It was made at the Westburg Naval Shipyard near Seattle in Washington and will be lifted onto the ship by crane. Weather permitting Kardashian should have her new hole in about two weeks.

The implant had to be ordered after Kardashian’s previous arse exploded on a recent flight from New York to Los Angeles. It is believed the pilot took the plane above 40,000 feet to avoid turbulence. Unknown to Kim, when implants fly above 35,000 feet they have been known to explode and that’s exactly what happened in her case.

Doctors have previously warned Kardashian of serious health implications if her arse gets any bigger but it seems she is determined to have the world’s biggest mega-butt. Meanwhile U.S. newspapers are reporting that child protection agencies have pleaded with the couple to stop giving their kids such stupid fucking names.