Shock As Team That Hasn’t Won a Trophy In 56 Years Fails To Win Another One

The world of football is in shock tonight after a country that hasn’t won a trophy in 56 years failed to win another trophy.

England were dumped out of the World Cup by France in the Al Bayt Stadium in Doha this evening and their distraught fans just can’t believe it.

“I just can’t believe it.” said Nigel Winterbottom from Nottingham. “Ever since we beat Iran I was sure we were gonna win the World Cup. Everyone was. Even Lineker and Shearer. The Daily Mirror and The Sun told us ‘Football’s Coming Home.’ How the hell could this happen?”

We’re no experts but it’s probably a lot to do with the fact that England are a bit shit.

Colin Weatherhead from Leicester said England crashing out of the World Cup at this early stage just doesn’t make sense.

“It just doesn’t make sense.” said Colin. “The Premier League is the best league in the world so why can’t England win the World Cup?”

That’s probably because most of the superstars in the Premier League are not English, Colin.

Once again the English media hyped their team’s chances beyond all reason at a major football tournament and once again their fans watched on in horror as England were beaten by superior opposition.

Meanwhile back in London the notorious British tabloids, who had been hailing English manager Gareth Southgate as a national hero and comparing him to Winston Churchill, are now expected to photoshop a pair of donkey’s ears onto his head and call for him to be sacked.