Eating lots of food makes you fat, study finds

A study carried out by the Institute for Scientific Research has found that eating lots of food makes you really fat.

The government funded study was carried out over a 12 month period under the supervision of Dr Philip McIntyre who said the results are conclusive.

“The results are conclusive.” he said. “We force fed over a hundred volunteers huge amounts of food for a full year. I mean we really stuffed it into them. We’re talking eight meals a day here. Sometimes ten. I can now reveal that it affected each and every volunteer in exactly the same way. They’re all really fat now.”

Dr McIntyre and his team carried out a similar study last year when they discovered that eating very little food makes you skinny.

“That’s right. We deprived over a hundred people of nearly all food and those who didn’t starve to death ended up skinny. I mean really skinny. They reminded me of that old black and white footage you always see from when Auschwitz was liberated.”

Next week – does drinking lots of alcohol make you drunk? We investigate.

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