‘But how will we chat if we move in?’ ask cyclists

Cyclists have responded angrily to calls for Gardaí to enforce the rules of the road more stringently upon them.

Irish road traffic regulations state that cyclists must not ride more than two abreast but this seems to be often ignored and some other road users have had enough.

Cyclists are frequently seen riding on our roads 3, 4 and 5 abreast. However, spokesman for Cycling Ireland Brian Jennings told us it never happens.

“It never happens.” he told us. “It’s a myth and a lie. Show me some proof. Besides, how can we all chat together if we only ride two abreast? It’s just too hard to hear the lads at the back.”

We showed Brian our photo which was taken just outside Tullamore this morning and asked him how he can say it never happens.

“I said it almost never happens. Stop lying and stop moaning. All I see is a group of people out for a cycle and minding their own business. Fair play to them. Probably having a lovely chat too by the looks of it.”

Despite some people’s annoyance with cyclists, most serious accidents on our roads do not involve cyclists in any way and are instead usually down to driver error or road conditions.

“Exactly!” said Brian. “We don’t cause accidents and therefore should be allowed to block the roads and make everybody late. Thank you for finally seeing things our way.”