Sunday drinkers to be given Mondays off work with full pay under new plan to boost pub trade

Paul Molloy | Drinking Correspondent

People who spend Sundays in the pub will soon be given Mondays off work with full pay.

The new legislation is expected to be brought in by the government next month in an attempt to boost Ireland’s declining pub trade. Minister for Beer Henry Jockins said he believes it’s long overdue.

“It’s unfair to expect those who spend their Sundays getting hammered in a pub to go to work the next day. It’s just not right. These people are providing a vital service to our economy by keeping our pubs in business and this is the government’s way of saying thank you. And of course nobody wants to go to work when they wake up feeling as sick as a small hospital.”

The Minister said he hopes the new legislation will encourage more people to go Sunday drinking.

“You can now get up on a Sunday morning, get the fry into the belly and go on the lash for the whole day without worrying about work on Monday. All you need to do is get a written note signed by the publican or bar manager, which you can then give to your employer on the Tuesday when you go back to work.”

The Minister was asked if the new legislation also applies to people who spend Sundays in the pub but don’t drink alcohol.

“God no.” he scoffed. “Why on earth would those freaks need Mondays off work? Non-drinking weirdos.”