Shock as team that hasn’t won a trophy in 58 years fails to win another one

The world of football is in shock tonight after a country that hasn’t won a trophy in 58 years failed to win another trophy.

England lost the Euro 2024 final to Spain this evening and their distraught fans just can’t believe it.

“I just can’t believe it.” said Nigel Winterbottom from Nottingham. “Ever since we beat Serbia I was sure we were gonna win the whole thing. Everyone was. Even Lineker and Shearer. The Daily Mirror and The Sun told us ‘Football’s Coming Home.’ How the hell could this happen?”

Colin Weatherhead from Leicester said England losing the final just doesn’t make sense.

“It just doesn’t make sense.” said Colin. “The Premier League is the best league in the world so why can’t England win the Euros?”

That’s probably because the best players in the Premier League aren’t English Colin.

Once again the English media hyped their team’s chances beyond all reason at a major football tournament before it had even began and once again their fans watched on in horror as England showed game after game that they’re just not good enough and if it wasn’t for a shocking penalty decision by the ref against the Netherlands they wouldn’t have even been in the final.

Meanwhile back in London the notorious British tabloids, who had been hailing English manager Gareth Southgate as a national hero and comparing him to Winston Churchill, are now expected to photoshop a pair of donkey’s ears onto his head and call for him to be sacked.