A local woman who has been lying about her age for years has no idea how she’s going to explain to her work colleagues getting called for her first vaccine tomorrow. 51 year-old Deirdre Casey, who claims to be 45, has been asked to go to her local vaccine centre at 10 o’clock in the morning, during working hours. She told a friend it’s probably a computer error.
“Obviously it’s something to do with this cyber attack. Terrible business altogether. They’ve clearly hacked into our medical records and changed all our dates of birth.”
A recent study revealed that more than half of all women over 50 cannot bring themselves to tell the truth when asked how old they are. In fact most have been lying about their age for so long that they’re not sure how old they really are anymore.
Deirdre meanwhile said she’ll go along to the vaccine centre tomorrow, even though it’s clearly a mistake, because she doesn’t want to mess things up for the government.
“I better go because they’re expecting me. I’d say all the old codgers in the queue will be giving me dirty looks when they see how young I am. They’ll think I’m taking a vaccine away from one of their own. You can’t blame them really. I’ll probably turn into a cranky old cunt too when I’m in my 50’s. Thank God that’s a long way off.”