People Of Cork To Never Shut Up About Having Ireland’s Tallest Building

An Bord Pleanála has granted planning permission for what will be Ireland’s tallest building. The €140 million development will be built in Cork City centre and people not from Cork are going to hear about it and keep hearing about it forever or until something taller is built somewhere else.

A very emotional Lord Mayor of Cork Jimmy Murphy was clearly overcome with joy while giving a press conference yesterday and could not hold back the tears.

“We’ve done it! We have beaten the Dubs. Once again, we have beaten the Jackeens and Cork is the real capital. We have beaten them all. Ronan Keating. Can you hear me? Bono. Joe Duffy. Arthur Guinness. Mrs Brown. Jedward. Are you listening? Imelda May. We have beaten them all. Bertie Ahern. Can you hear me? Bertie Ahern. Your boys took a hell of a beating!”

The decision to grant the development planning permission follows an appeal by the Irish Georgian Society. Spokesman Stephen Dowling said it’s a sad day for Ireland.

This is a regrettable decision. We thought we presented our case to the board very well but they didn’t seem interested. In fact they weren’t even listening. They seemed to be a little biased if I’m honest. I’m not sure where they’re from but they just kept laughing at us and calling us jackeen langers. I don’t even know what that is.”