Tullamore declares itself a city as it now has 2 Aldis
Councillors in Tullamore in Co. Offaly have declared the town is now a city and called on the government to recognised it as such.
The calls come after the opening of a second Aldi in the midlands town which already has two Lidl supermarkets and two Dunnes Stores.
Councillor Barney Fitzmaurice told reporters at a press conference in Tullamore this morning “Name me another town that has two Aldis. You can’t because there isn’t one. I doubt they even have two in Dublin. With the opening of our second Aldi, Tullamore is now the shopping capital of Ireland. Maybe even the world. Who needs the Ilac Centre and Grafton Street when we have the Bridge Centre and Kilbride Street?”
One reporter pointed out that for a town to be recognised as a city in Ireland, it must be a seat of government or a cathedral town and Tullamore is neither. However Councillor Fitzmaurice was having none of it.
“You shut your hole. I bet you’re from Mullingar or Portlaoise. Stupid little one-Aldi towns. You’re just jealous. If Trump can call the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, we can call Tullamore a city.”
Offaly County Councillors are expected to vote unanimously in favour of recognising Tullamore as a city later this week. Unfortunately nobody outside of Offaly will be doing the same and the government has called on the Councillors to stop acting the shite.