Nationwide survey finds this weather would sicken your hole

Paul McRingo | Hurling Correspondent

A study carried out by the Institute for Scientific Research has found that the weather Ireland is currently going through would sicken your hole.

Dr Henry Jockins carried out the survey and said the feelings of the Irish people on the subject was fairly unanimous.

“We questioned over a thousand people from all walks of life and from all over Ireland and asked them how they feel about the weather and almost all of them replied ‘It would sicken your hole.'”

In a recent Sunday Times poll, this type of weather topped the list of the most hole sickening things in Ireland followed by couples who call each other ‘Babe’ in second place and having a Palestinian flag as your profile picture in third. So what advice does Dr Jockins have for the Irish people during this period?

“I don’t have any. Frankly it sickens my hole too. Emigrate if you can. If you can’t, you’re fucked! Get used to it. Sorry but that’s all I’ve got.”

Charming! Next week, we find out what’s the one thing most Irish people say would rot your arse.