Lol – Local gobshite actually pays for Sky Sports legally

By Paul McRingo Entertainment Correspondent

A local gobshite has confirmed that he actually pays the full proper monthly subscription fee for Sky Sports.

Brian Dempsey from Tullamore is one of a dying breed of people who legally pay for a Sky Sports package despite his neighbours, friends, cousins, brothers and sisters, work colleagues and mother all having dodgy boxes and getting all the same channels and loads more for a fraction of the price. We asked Brian what exactly it is that’s wrong with him.

“When I watch a Premier League match I want the commentary to be in English, not fecking Chinese.” he told us. “The same when I watch a series or a film, I want to be able to understand what they’re saying. I’ll stick to the real thing thank you very much.”

We told Brian the matches, movies and tv shows are all in English on the dodgy box.

“So what? It’s illegal and wrong. How can you live with yourself knowing you’re breaking the law? At least I can sleep soundly in the knowledge that a percentage of my fee goes to English Premier League clubs. I can say I’m contributing to Erling Haaland’s £500,000 weekly wage at Manchester City. Can you say the same thing?”

Next week, we talk to a man who actually pays for Netflix. The fuckin’ eejit!

Image by Freepik