Make huge savings at Tesco today by only scanning half your items at the self-checkout

Would you like to cut your weekly shopping bill in half? Of course you would. Then simply make sure to use the self-checkout at your local Tesco supermarket today and scan only half your items. Put the other half straight into your bag.

That’s the amazing offer happening at all Tesco stores nationwide but remember, it’s for one day only and that day is today so get shopping.

Fill your trolley as high as you can. Keep the kids off school and get them to fill trolleys too. You get to keep half of everything for free.

We asked managing director of Tesco Maurice Tidey what’s behind their amazing offer.

“What are you talking about?” he said. “What offer?”

Such a joker. And such a kind gesture. And all this on the same day Spar is giving away free wine. That’s right. Just walk into your nearest Spar and help yourself to your favourite bottle of wine. Get the kids to take a few bottles too. No need to bother the staff either, just grab them and walk straight out again.

And of course if you’re driving, don’t forget petrol is free today at every Applegreen in the country. Just fill her up and drive off. At high speed would be best. What a time to be alive.