Newsreaders standing up looks fucking stupid, finds study

A study carried out by the Institute of Research has found that newsreaders standing up while reading the news looks fucking stupid.

The fact that there’s a perfectly good desk with chairs right behind them makes it even more fucking stupid, it is also claimed.

Dr Colleen Fitzpatrick carried out the study and said it simply makes no sense.

“It simply makes no sense.” she said. “Nobody seems to know who came up with this nonsense of reading some of the news while standing up, then the next part while sitting down and for the final bit they’re standing up again. I mean seriously, are they reading the news or at mass?”

Dr Fitzpatrick said there are still many unanswered questions.

“There are still many unanswered questions.” she said. “What type of news qualifies as a standing up story for example and what’s a sitting down story? And if they really want to go down that route then why are there no kneeling stories?”

We spoke to head of RTE News Jim Maher and he told us that he actually agrees with many findings contained in the study and said changes are on the way.

“Changes are on the way.” he said. “We had a meeting with the news team and everyone is in agreement that Dr Fitzpatrick makes some very valid points so we’ve decided that from next week onwards the weather forecast will be presented while kneeling down.”