British Government To Commemorate Bloody Sunday By Not Mentioning It

The British government will mark the 50th Anniversary of Bloody Sunday today by not mentioning it and instead diverting all their attention to pretending Russia is about to invade Ukraine.

Thirteen unarmed civilians were shot dead when British soldiers of the Parachute Regiment opened fire on people who had been attending a civil rights rally in Derry on 30 January 1972.

They were Patrick ‘Paddy’ Doherty, Gerald Donaghey, John ‘Jackie’ Duddy, Hugh Gilmour, Michael Kelly, Michael McDaid, Kevin McElhinney, Bernard ‘Barney’ McGuigan, Gerald McKinney, William ‘Willie’ McKinney, William Nash, James ‘Jim’ Wray and John Young.

A 14th person, John Johnston, who had been amongst the injured, died several months later from his injuries.

Years later one former member of the Parachute Regiment was charged with two murders and five attempted murders. However the British Prosecution Service recently announced its intention to drop all charges.

British news outlets will also commemorate the massacre by barely mentioning it. Sky News has placed the Bloody Sunday commemoration 7th in their list of bulletins for today behind five stories about the imaginary Russian invasion of Ukraine, a weather report from the United States and a charming little piece about a dog that went missing in Australia but was then found by its owner. BBC News on the other hand are ignoring it entirely.

While leaving Downing Street this morning, Prime Minister Boris Johnson was asked for his thoughts on Bloody Sunday and if he had anything to say to the victims families.

He replied “Yes of course. We will not stand by and allow the Russians to bully our friends in Ukraine. An invasion is imminent and we intend to send British troops to help out just like we did in Iraq and Afghanistan. And you all know how well that went. Jolly good, tally ho and rule Britannia.”

Meanwhile in the United States, President Biden, who keeps telling everyone he’s Irish, was asked during a White House press conference last night for his thoughts on the 50th Anniversary of Bloody Sunday. He replied “What the hell is Bloody Sunday?”