A local man who drank all day yesterday and is by his own admission “in bits” today has googled the words ‘hangover cure’ on the off-chance one was discovered today.
42 year-old Brian Molloy, who went out with friends to celebrate the end of lockdown, told us he can usually cope but today’s hangover is in his top 5 hangovers of all time and he could do with some help getting through it.
“I know there was no cure for hangovers up until yesterday because I probably would’ve heard about it but maybe they found one this morning and it’s all over the news. Fingers crossed. Come on Google, help me out. I’m fucking dying here!”
Research shows that the most googled phrase on Monday mornings in Ireland is ‘Hangover cure’ followed closely by ‘Am I drinking too much?’ and ‘How the hell did I get home last night?’ At all other times of the week it’s just mainly porn. So did Brian have any luck with his search?
“No. Just loads of unfunny pricks saying the best cure for a hangover is don’t drink. Oh ha ha. Hilarious! It’s not fair. All the money and effort they put into finding a cure for other illnesses yet you never hear anything about hangover research. It affects over half the population and it’s a real problem.
“Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and put my head in the toilet and puke the contents of my stomach into it. Have a lovely day.”