Leading Irish Doctor Warns Men “Skinny Jeans Are Crushing Your Nuts!”

A leading Irish doctor has warned men who regularly wear jeans labelled ‘Skinny Fit’ that they are causing permanent damage to their nutsacks. Doctor John McIntyre of Dublin’s Mater Hospital was speaking at the annual conference of the National Association of Medical Consultants and said the health risks posed by wearing such restrictive clothing are significant.

“It seems that excessively tight trousers are currently in fashion and from a medical point of view I have to say that’s a very worrying trend. Wearing jeans that are too tight can cause serious damage to nerves and muscles. It can also restrict blood circulation to vital organs and there are no organs more vital to a man than his nuts. It’s just not natural to have your dangly bits all squashed up like that.”

It’s unlikely that young men will be persuaded to stop wearing skinny jeans as long as they’re in fashion and as long as celebrities continue to be photographed wearing them. So what advice would Dr. McIntyre have for the health conscious young man when out shopping for new jeans and how tight is too tight?

“You have to prioritise your health over fashion. Remember, you only have two of those hairy boys so be good to them and give them room to breathe. If you can manage to put your hands in your pockets and have a scratch and a fiddle down there then you should be fine.”

Surprisingly, one leading jeans manufacturer has already taken Dr. McIntyre’s concerns on board. Levi’s Ireland say they intend to add a new size to their collection and soon men will be able to choose between Boot Cut, Regular Fit, Skinny Fit and Scratch & Fiddle.