Could your dog be transgender?

Have you assumed your dog’s gender? If so you could be using the wrong pronouns which is a new form of animal cruelty.

That’s according to Hollywood dog groomer Betty Freiberg who is the proud owner of a transgender dog herself and says not enough is being done to highlight the issue.

“Dolly was wrongly assigned male at birth and had been living a lie until I rescued her. I knew she was a girl when the previous owner told me she kept getting her lipstick out. Thankfully after gender reassignment surgery she’s now living a beautiful lesbian life with her lover Lucy. Although I sometimes catch her trying to hump Lucy even though she doesn’t have a penis anymore so I think she may still be a little confused but that’s to be expected I guess.”

Betty said she hopes gender reassignment surgery for dogs is just the beginning as transgenderism is something that exists throughout the animal kingdom.

“1 in 3 fish are trans, 32% of chickens experience misgendering on a daily basis and more than 50% of cats are forced to use litter trays that do not correspond with their gender but yeah, let’s worry about Gaza and Ukraine. People’s priorities are so messed up.”

We asked world renowned animal psychologist Dr Patrick Johnson if dogs can be transgender.

He told us “No, dogs cannot be transgender. Gender is a social and psychological construct that is too complex for dogs to understand.”

We put Dr Johnson’s point to Betty Freiberg.

“Well Dr Johnson is clearly a far-right transphobic promoter of hate-speech.” she replied. “I bet he’s racist too. And fascist. And a nazi. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m afraid Dolly is trying to mount Lucy again. I gotta go.”