Many Dubliners struggling with the concept of black culchies

A recent survey has found that many Dubliners, or Jackeens as they’re affectionately known throughout Ireland, are struggling with the concept of black culchies and are quite nervous when it comes to dealing with them.

Most people from Dublin tend to believe that everybody else in Ireland is a sheep farmer who has sexual relations with their cousins and can’t wait to point this out and make fun of everyone they encounter with a “country” accent.

However, the fact that there are now black people with country accents is causing both concern and hesitation among jackeens when it comes to making fun of culchies.

Anthony Breslin from Finglas spends a huge percentage of his time making fun of culchies online and he told us everything has changed in recent years.

“It’s just not the same anymore. It’s a serious problem and it’s a question that needs to be answered. Can we make fun of black culchies too or would that be considered racist? Where are the guidelines on this? Why isn’t the government talking about it? I called a lad from Tipperary a bleedin’ sheep shagger last month and I got banned off Instagram for a week. Turned out he was black.”

We asked Minister for Foreigners Jim O’Callaghan if it’s acceptable for jackeens to make fun of black culchies.

He told us “Absolutely not you far-right racist nazi. In fact we intend to bring in legislation that will make it illegal to say the word black. Anyone using the word thereafter will get an automatic custodial sentence.”

So there you have it. Jackeens caught making fun of black culchies will end up in prison, so don’t do it. White culchies on the other hand can still be called inbred sheep-shagging unwashed toothless denim dungaree-wearing sister-riding muck savages.