Trump says UFC opponents will “fight to the death” on White House lawn at huge cage fight event for his 80th birthday

Paul McRingo | Camogie Correspondent

Construction has been completed on the White House lawn of an Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) arena that will host a cage fight next month to mark Donald Trump’s 80th birthday.

The mixed martial arts fight is planned for June 14th and President Trump said it will be “the greatest birthday celebration in presidential history in the whole world ever.”

In a surprise announcement yesterday, Trump also said during an Oval Office press briefing that the two headline UFC champions – who were standing silently behind him – would be required to engage in “a totally voluntary fight to the death”.

Neither fighter appeared to react but it was later revealed that was probably because neither of them have a word of English and had no idea what was being said.

“These are incredible warriors,” Trump told reporters. “The best. Some people are saying maybe the best men ever created. Certainly the toughest. And for my birthday, one of them is going to die.”

Trump went on to explain that the loser will receive “a beautiful funeral, maybe one of the most beautiful funerals ever” while the winner will earn a senior cabinet position in his government.

Sources close to the administration say planning for the birthday spectacle began several months ago after Trump watched three consecutive hours of UFC highlights aboard Air Force One and asked aides ‘Can we do this on the White House lawn?’

“At one point he asked if we could release tigers into the crowd ‘for atmosphere.’” the source said.

Fox News confirmed that they will have exclusive TV rights to broadcast the pay-per-view event live. An announcement on their website last night also praised the event as a return to traditional American values and said anyone who has a problem with it hates America and wants the terrorists to win.