Calls for the word ‘Willy’ to be removed from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

The word ‘Willy’ may soon be removed from the film Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory and TV channels and streaming services airing the 1971 classic have been told they could be required to advertise it as William Wonka & The Chocolate Factory from now on.

The move follows last week’s news that the novel, and all books by Roald Dahl, have had the words ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ removed to cater for today’s audience of fucking idiots who spend all their time looking for things to be offended by.

We asked the publisher’s chief executive Sandra White why on earth they now want to remove the word Willy as well. She told us “It’s a rude word. It’s not an appropriate word for children’s ears and don’t pretend you don’t know why. Everybody knows what a willy is.”

Another change to the new printed version of Willy Wonka will see the Oompah Loompahs become gender neutral.

Many experts believe the so-called “Sensitivity Police” are only getting started with the Roald Dahl stories and predict a blanket ban on all willys, as well as fat and ugly. Fat ugly willys are definitely banned but they’re usually only in films children should definitely never see.