NPHET: ‘If We Had Our Way We’d Close Everything So Stop Whingeing Whinge-bags’

The National Public Health Emergency Team has said the people of Ireland need to stop whingeing after the government paused the reopening of indoor dining for an unspecified period of time. Dr Ronan Glynn said if NPHET had their way the whole country would be on full lockdown again and he also mocked the government’s latest announcement.

“So let me get this straight. It’s not safe for young people to eat food or drink inside but it is safe for them to serve food and drink inside. Lol. They’re even worse than us!”

Dr Glynn said the Irish people don’t know how good they have it and asked why on earth anyone would want to dine indoors during the current sunny spell anyway.

“Have you seen the weather? They’re just looking for something to moan about. Another good 4-month lockdown is what’s needed. Let’s give them something to really whinge about. Bleedin’ whinge-bags.”

As NPHET was put together to advise the government during the pandemic, Dr Glynn was asked when does he think they should call it a day and disband so to speak.

“You shut your face.” he replied. “NPHET is here to stay. We’re going nowhere. We’re the Rolling Stones of the pandenic world. I guess you could say that makes me the Irish Mick Jagger. In fact do say that. And that’s an order. God I love being in charge.”