Rest Of World Wondering How The Hell Brits Ever Managed To Conquer Half The Planet

As political chaos ensues in Westminster, the rest of the world is looking on wondering how the hell these people ever managed to invade and conquer nearly half the planet during the dark days of the British Empire.

Britain voted to leave the European Union over three years ago but somehow they still haven’t managed to leave. Boris Johnson’s decision to suspend parliament, which was approved by the Queen because it’s legal under British law, was overturned by three judges because it’s illegal under British law.

Meanwhile Labour, Britain’s main opposition party, refuse to say if they are against or in favour of Brexit because they don’t want to upset their Leave voters or their Remain voters. The Lib Dems say they will simply ignore the referendum result and cancel Brexit altogether if they get into power except they’ll never get into power because nobody ever votes for them.

North of the border even though there’s no border the people of Scotland want nothing to do with the Brexit shambles and want a referendum on independence even though they just had one and voted against it. Half the population of Northern Ireland want to leave the UK and join a United Ireland while the other half would happily see their children starve to death as long as it meant they’d remain part of the UK. Nobody gives a shit what the Welsh want.

As the Brexit fiasco moves from crisis to crisis the only thing the rest of the World can do is look on in disbelief and wonder how in the name of Christ these people ever managed to build a global empire. To be continued …….