BREAKING NEWS … Queen Scratches Nose

The British media is reporting that the Queen of England has scratched her nose after a photo emerged in which she appears to be scratching her nose.

Sky News has been covering the story non-stop ever since and said that all other news including the pandemic and Brexit can go and get fucked.

BBC Royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell was so overcome with excitement and joy that he couldn’t handle it and jumped off a bridge to his death.

Thousands of people have began to gather outside Buckingham Palace waving union jacks hoping to get a glimpse of the Queen and her nose.

Doris Winterbottom made the long trek from her home in Yorkshire and told reporters she intends to stand there until she starves to death.

“I love the Royal family.” said Doris. “I really love them. I have a family of my own of course but I couldn’t care less about them. Lower class scum. As long as the Royal family are happy that’s all that matters to any true Brit. God save the Queen.”

Meanwhile, having seen the publicity generated by the nose scratching incident, Meghan Markle has just released a photo of herself scratching her arse. Unfortunately nobody seems to give a shit.