A study carried out by a team of academics who have nothing better to do has confirmed that people who leave the room to take a phone call are almost certainly talking about you. The results show that you are absolutely right to feel paranoid when a family member or work colleague’s first reaction when their phone rings is to get as far away from you as possible before speaking.
Professor John McIntyre from Trinity College carried out the study and said the results are very revealing. “We found that a staggering 98% of people who walk away from you when their phone rings do so because they’re going to be talking about you and you can be sure it’s not going to be anything complimentary. What this shows more than anything is that we as a nation love nothing better than some juicy gossip and a good bitching session.”
But surely there’s more to it and people have many reasons for wanting to go somewhere quiet to take a phone call. We put it to the Professor that maybe people are simply talking about a private matter and therefore need some privacy.
“That’s bollocks!” said Mr. McIntyre who uses some very colourful language for a Trinity College Professor. “Less than 2% of people have a genuine, non-gossipy, non-bitchy reason for not wanting you to hear what they’re saying. The rest are just back-stabbing bastards.”
So what advice does he have for anyone who finds themselves in this situation now that we know what’s going on?
“The next time a work colleague or loved one goes to leave the room when their phone rings, simply jump up and punch them in the face. Let them know that you know what they’re up to. You’ll feel better and they’ll think twice before bitching about you in future so everyone wins.”