News Of The Pandemic Reaches Leitrim

News of the pandemic currently causing havoc across the world has finally reached the people of Leitrim. A horse messenger delivered the news after spending the past year crossing some of the wildest and most remote terrain in the west of Ireland. A batch of vaccines and instructions on how to administer them was also handed over to a local witch doctor.

Experts believe there are approximately 350 people living in Leitrim. They continue to resist all contact with outsiders and often attack anyone who comes near. Most of what is known about the inhabitants of Leitrim has been gathered by viewing them from a safe distance. They hunt in the local forests and fish in the river Shannon.

Observers said the man on the horse cautiously approached some village elders early this morning while waving a white flag. After a brief exchange, he was allowed to leave but only after they made him strip naked and kept his clothes and his horse.

Dr. Philip McIntyre from the Institute of Scientific Research said this is an attempt to help the people of Leitrim help themselves, although he added that he’s not very optimistic about the outcome.

“They are a primitive people who unfortunately do not trust modern inventions such as electricity and medicine. They worship sky gods and reject science. My guess is they’ll think it’s all a ploy to control or even kill them and refuse to take the vaccines. All we can do is try.”

After reading about Leitrim and its people, anti-lockdown protest organisers in Dublin have enquiried about having a Witch Doctor come and speak at their next rally.