“How Can Anyone Watch Football?” Says Woman Who Watches Love Island

A woman who has spent every day since the World Cup began asking how anyone can watch football has claimed that Love Island is the greatest TV show ever made. Deborah Cummings from Kildare says just knowing that her favourite programme is going to be on telly later is what gets her through her miserable daily routine and that anyone who watches football during Love Island or at any other stage of their life has to be mental in the head.

“It’s bad enough that they’re not watching Love Island but they’re actually watching this World Cup thing instead. What the hell is wrong with these people? Apparently it’s on every four years too so you would think they’d be sick of it by now.”

Love Island is a British reality TV show that’s hugely popular with the brain-dead. The producers of the programme took the concept of Big Brother and somehow managed to make it even worse. People who live near the cemetery in Scotland where the inventor of television John Logie Baird is buried claim they can actually hear him turning in his grave every time it comes on.

Meanwhile the producers of Love Island say they will keep fans of the show entertained in the coming months after the current series ends with new shows which they believe will appeal to a similar audience.

Keep an eye out for Celebrity Dump where z-list celebrities take a dump and contestants have to guess whose dump it is simply by looking at it and giving it a quick sniff.