Local Town Celebrates Mention On The News As Street Fight Makes National Headlines

Tullamore in County Offaly is celebrating today after a street fight in the town’s Arden View housing estate was mentioned on the national news. Local councillor Barney Fitzmaurice said it’s a proud day for the town and it shows there are plenty of interesting things happening all over the country and not just in Dublin.

“It’s not often you’re sitting at home watching the evening news and you hear the name of your town mentioned. It’s usually Dublin this and Dublin that. Well most of us couldn’t give a shite about Dublin. But it happened last night and I must admit my eyes welled up with tears. Tears of pride and happiness. This is an incredible achievement and I’d like to think all my years of hard work putting Tullamore on the map had something to do with it.”

Gardaí were called to the scene of a major disturbance on Wednesday afternoon where one man suffered serious but non-life threatening injuries after being attacked by a mob with baseball bats. Video footage shows a crowd of both men and women taking part in the attack but councillor Fitzmaurice said the main thing is Tullamore got mentioned on the news.

“I didn’t hear Mullingar getting a mention. Not a word about Athlone either. Jealous much? You can keep your Golden Island Shopping Centre and your Joe Dolan statue. It’s Tullamore they’re all talking about because this is where it’s all happening. We’ve been ignored long enough and now is our time to shine. This almost makes up for that cheating bastard referee in last Sunday’s minor hurling final. Up Offaly!”