Trump Tells Native Americans To Go Back To India


Donald Trump has said that Native Americans who do not support him are welcome to go back to India. The comments were made during a press conference in Washington last night when the president was asked a question about the pipeline protests.

Thousands of Native Americans have been camping out in North Dakota to protest against an oil pipeline that will cross sacred burial grounds beside the Standing Rock Indian reservation. Within days of taking office President Trump gave the go ahead for the construction of the pipeline.

He said “If American Indians don’t like what’s happening in America they’re welcome to go back to India. See how they like having no toilets and travelling to work on the roof of a train and being attacked by elephants like in Sweden.”

As the reporter who asked the initial question began trying to explain everything that was wrong with what Mister Trump had just said, he was interrupted and shouted down by the President.

“Sit down. You’re fake news. Go home and write some more fake news. I don’t care. Listen, I respect Indians. I grew up watching cowboys and Indians on TV and although I always wanted the cowboys to win, well of course I did, who didn’t? They were fighting Indians for Christ’s sake. As if I’m gonna be on their side. Running around half naked. Bunch of savages. Anyway, where was I?”

Meanwhile Taoiseach Enda Kenny, who was in Washington for the St. Patrick’s day celebrations, urged Mister Trump to consider helping the 50,000 undocumented Irish living in the United States. The President however was in no mood for compromise.

“Look, I love Ireland – I think I own a couple of counties over there – but I’ve gotta treat everyone the same. Illegal Irish will be sent back to Ireland just like illegal Hispanics will be sent back to Hispania.”