Manchester United Sign Denis Irwin

Manchester United have in the last few minutes confirmed the signing of Denis Irwin. The 56 year-old Cork man last played for the red devils 20 years ago and said he couldn’t believe it when the call came through but added that he’d be more than willing to give it a go and help out his old club in their hour of need.

“I haven’t done any football training lately if I’m honest. Or any running. Or jogging. I haven’t done much walking either and I can’t remember the last time I kicked a ball but as long as they don’t need me to do too much of that kind of stuff I’m raring to go.”

United manager Erik Ten Hag explained the thinking behind his decision to bring Irwin back to Old Trafford.

“I said when I arrived that I came here to make history and to be successful. Today I became the first manager of this club ever to sign a player older than himself so already I have made history. The successful part might be a bit more tricky.”

Ten Hag confirmed that Manchester United are still looking to sign more players before the end of the current transfer window and said as soon as they find someone willing to sign, they’ll buy him.