Makers Of Corona Beer Call For Next Big Viral Infection To Be Named The Heineken Virus

As the World Health Organisation tells us we are now in uncharted territory regarding the coronavirus, it seems that the outbreak has claimed an unlikely victim – one of the world’s most popular beers.

Incredibly, sales of Mexican beer Corona have plunged because millions of morons think it has something to do with the coronavirus.

Unsurprisingly the makers of Corona are fighting back and have some controversial ideas on how to level the playing field in the highly competitive beer market. The company released the following statement on their website today.

‘What this has shown us is that the world is full of idiots who think they’ll get coronavirus if they drink Corona. Do they think they’ll get chicken pox if they eat chicken? Yes, of course they do. They’re idiots. In the interests of fairness the only thing to do now is name the next big virus after Heineken. Let’s see how our rivals cope with millions of imbeciles thinking they’ll die if they drink their beer because of an unfortunate naming coincidence.’

CEO of Heineken Dirk Van Hoojdink said he found the suggestion highly offensive and in poor taste.

“It’s a ridiculous request and something we at Heineken would never agree to. It could have a hugely negative effect on our beer. As if tasting like piss isn’t bad enough.”